her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
