You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
