she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
