I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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