Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
