Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
