you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
