Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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