there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i love accidental penises.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
