As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I could fuck to npr.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
