He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
