Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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