Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
