I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
