good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
