Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
