I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
