Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
