This girl is more easily done than said...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
