birth control should be required to get into college
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
