new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
