Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
