It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
