so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
