When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
