she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
