I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
