Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
