Porn is love you can see.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
