:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize