I'm drive I can fine osifer
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
