There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
