I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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