Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Actions speak louder than pants.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
