so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
