If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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