I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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