So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
