I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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