I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
