i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
