Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
the liver wants what the liver wants
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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