Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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