I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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