I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
