Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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