ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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