; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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