Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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