Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
